She felt overlooked and put on the shelf. She was angry, hurt, weary, and losing trust. Despite her best efforts when pressed her behavior was less than her best. She could not keep what was bothering her on the inside from lashing out in an inappropriate manner.
When frustration is out of control one thing can lead to another. During a critical time she hit the “send” button launching an email barrage leading to all sorts of regrets.
Have you ever been in this same situation - You know what you want to do, but for whatever reason you can’t pull yourself together enough to do the right thing?
We’ve all been there. While the problem is easy to define it’s hard to get past the habits that drive the emotionally motivated actions leading to regrets.
In the moment, the crushing emotion was too intense for her to get the inner tantrum calmed down. This negatively affected her outward actions.
Running in the red zone and lashing out at those around you is not a great career move.
With a defeated look, she leaned across the table and said, “How the hell am I supposed to manage this?” “Is it even possible for me not to go there?”
The answer is, yes. But it requires a disciplined approach to mindfulness that frees you from unneeded emotions while giving you space to feel what you actually feel.
The battle is between your ears - with your thinking. Your thinking drives your emotions and your emotions drive your actions. If you change the way you think, you will strengthen your ability to act – even under intense pressure.
While there is not an immediate fix to over emotional thinking - there is a way you can get control and change your actions in almost every situation. It’s called, strengths-based mindfulness.
Strengths-based mindfulness is deep understanding of self, beginning with what is right in you.
Learning what each of your top five talents look like when functioning at peak levels is the first step. But don’t stop there. You’ll also need to think about the times when your strengths get in the way of progress. This is called a weakness.
Here is an example, I’m very positive (Positivity #5) - except when I’m not. When I’m not, I can actually go the other way and lead with negativity. This is because I’ve found that my positivity strength is a powerful emotional talent. I am accustomed to high highs and when weary - low lows. If I don’t manage this carefully it can cause havoc on my teams.
Our talent themes and strengths are the personal window into how we think at our best and sometimes our worst.
Understanding your strengths in action is a great start. However it’s only the beginning. Next, you should begin a practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness allows you to take control over your thinking and free yourself from the heavy barrage of negative emotions in almost every situation.
A life of mindfulness takes practice and you can’t expect to use it on demand. It’ takes dedication and consistent effort to strengthen your thinking. Mindfulness, is best practiced when tensions are not elevated. This gives you the inner ability to clue into how you think and figure out why.
Finally, nobody does all of this alone. Learning to form open and honest high-performing partnerships will allow you to sharpen abilities and move into your zone of genius.
To overcome those nasty habits of negative outbursts- Know your strengths well. Start a proactive practice of prayer and mindfulness leading to a deeper understanding of how you think and respond. Finally, remember it takes a team to generate great results that lead to satisfaction, fulfillment, and success. Strengths-based mindfulness is a great way to start thinking strong and forming a winning team approach.